


Violent Daylight

by sirrylot



Category: Young Avengers
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Implied Torture, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-23
Updated: 2012-04-23
Packaged: 2017-11-04 05:11:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/390132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sirrylot/pseuds/sirrylot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Billy can still feel the Negative Zone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Violent Daylight

**Author's Note:**

> title taken from No Light, No Light by Florence + the Machine

Billy can still feel the Negative Zone.  


Even here, after almost a year, four team members, a base change, an alien invasion, the fall of Asgard, and his slow slide in and then out of depression, he can still feel it.  
It’s all over him, coating his skin and hair. It settles as a translucent film over his eyes sometimes and seeps into his brain most nights. He still feels it in silent classrooms during tests, in the tense calm before a storm, in the quiet of his house when his family isn’t around.  


He feels it when Teddy isn’t with him and sometimes when he is. When he’s limping and can’t get the strength to iwant his injuries away. When the summers are too humid, the winters too dry, the springs too wet, and the falls too chilly. When he has to swim at school and someone thinks it would be funny to hold his head underwater, when someone slams him against a locker, when he gets knocked down and stepped on.  


When he gets captured by the supervillain of the week (binds too tight magic won’t work too dark too empty). Left after a fight to find the bodies of the people he wasn’t quick enough to save, when he hears the screams and cries, feels it encase him so forcefully, freezes him so he can’t move, can’t think, can’t see anything but white white white. Can’t hear anything, only his own heartbeat, feels nothing but the tears that cantwont spill over.  


He’s gotten good at ignoring it, at acting like he got over the matter months ago, like he actually forgives Tony Stark and Reed Richards and Hank Pym. But sometimes—  
Sometimes it’s the same crippling pain and the aftershocks and too much water around his head too much of his own blood all over him not enough sound around him he’s weak he’s so goddamn weak and he can’t feel that hum of magic his magic, the one thing he thought he’d never lose.  


He doesn’t cry no matter how much he wants to, because that’s evidence and he doesn’t want anyone _knowing_. Not his mom—either one, not his brothers—biological, spiritual, not his friends, not even Teddy—his best friend and boyfriend. Teddy’s been through enough, has lost enough people. Things are too good for them all at the moment and he can’t be the one to ruin that, can’t be selfish. So he stays (silent, alive, smiling) for Teddy and he doesn’t say anything for all of them because—  


Because this is his problem. This is for only Billy to deal with, only for Billy to feel. Maybe he’ll tell someone—Teddy—someday, but not today.  


_(Not ever.)_


End file.
